Jimmy Joker's Circus

2006-06-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

2006-06-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

Fatalities Have Soared in Florida Since Repeal of Motorcycle Helmet Law

MELBOURNE, Florida — Motorcycle fatalities involving riders without helmets have soared in Florida in the nearly six years since Gov. Jeb Bush repealed the state's mandatory helmet law, a newspaper reported Sunday. A Florida Today analysis of federal motorcycle crash statistics found "unhelmeted" deaths in Florida rose from 22 in 1998 and 1999, the years before the helmet law repeal, to 250 in 2004, the most recent year of available data. Total motorcycle deaths in the state have increased 67 percent, from 259 in 2000 to 432 in 2004, according to National Highway Traffic Safety Administration statistics.

Records, though, also show motorcycle registrations have increased 87 percent in Florida since Bush signed the helmet law repeal on July 1, 2000.

(So wait just a damn minute here. Deaths rose 67% and registrations rose 87%? Yet the headline screams that because of the law, riders are dying at a pace never seen before? Plus, the article only says "unhelmeted" deaths. Did any of those people die from injuries other than a head injury? A helmet doesn't protect your lungs, heart, bones or intestines.

If anybody stops to do the math the headline should read; "Unhelmeted Riders Are 20% safer than years before. The percentage of deaths of riders in Florida is plummeting.)

2006-06-19T01:16:00.000-07:00

Yellowstone tourist dies in 500-foot fall

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, Wyoming (AP) -- A woman lost her footing after stepping over a retaining wall to take a photograph and went over a cliff, falling 500 feet to her death in a canyon, Yellowstone National Park officials said.

(Retaining Wall: A wall of masonry used to keep soil or other material from in place, and from falling. A retaining wall (or bulkhead) is a structure to provide a barrier to downslope movement of soil, rock, or water. {Or humans?})

2006-06-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

Backyard F. Hairlines
Seethes U. Optician
Young Root
Citizenry R. Embankment
Sylvana Gassaway
(unknown sender) (no subject)

(The spam also comes from some interesting characters. The unknown sender with no subject is a sure fire piece of mail that needs review.)

2006-06-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

With Penis Enlarge Patch your

penis will grow faster than a flower

(My spam gets better all the time.)

2006-06-18T01:36:00.000-07:00

Police: man accidentally dies breaking into home

June 17, 2006 - Milwaukee police say a man apparently killed himself by accident as he tried to break into the home of his estranged wife early Saturday morning.

Police say the 46-year-old man punched through the woman's bedroom window and severed an artery in his upper arm. They say he collapsed in the street and bled to death about a half-block away. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

2006-06-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

How the Chicks survived their scrap with Bush

...the group weathered the storm of outrage triggered by Maines's expression of shame that President Bush was from her home state of Texas...within days, their music vanished from the charts and the airwaves, apoplectic rednecks crushed piles of their CDs with tractors, and the FBI was feverishly monitoring death threats against the trio. "It was the bullying and the scare factor," shudders banjo and guitar player Robison. "It was like the McCarthy days, and it was almost like the country was unrecognisable." The Chicks can't hide their disgust at the lack of support they received from other country performers.

"A lot of pandering started going on, and you'd see soldiers and the American flag in every video. It became a sickening display of ultra-patriotism."

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

2006-06-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

A trifecta this month from the democrats. Hit a cop, no problem. Repeatedly get trashed on drugs and then drive into something, get a free ride home from the police. Take some bribes, get videotaped doing it, stash the cash in your home freezer (?) and get caught with that too...don't dare say anything about it or you're racist.

These are the people elected by the same voters who bring you such treats as Marion Barry and Ray Nagen. God save us.

2006-06-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

2006-06-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

Painkiller patch abuse blamed for deaths

ST. LOUIS - Justin Knox bit down on the bitter-tasting patch, instantly releasing three days' worth of a drug more powerful than morphine. He was dead before he even got to the hospital. At least seven deaths in Indiana and four in South Carolina since 2005 have been blamed on abuse of the fentanyl patch, along with more than 100 deaths in Florida in 2004. About a week after Knox's death in Farmington, Mo., in March, a second man in the same county was prescribed the patch legally and died after injecting himself with the gel that he had scraped from it.

2006-06-16T02:23:00.000-07:00

House Dems Vote to Remove Jefferson from Committee Assignment

Jefferson has not been indicted and maintains his innocence. In remarks to reporters, he conceded that "serious allegations" swirl around him. The FBI claims that it videotaped the Louisiana Democrat last summer taking $100,000 in bribe money and that agents later found $90,000 of the funds stashed in a freezer in his home. Two men have pleaded guilty in the probe, including a former aid to the congressman and a businessman who admitted paying bribes to the lawmaker. Watt said that constituents of some lawmakers will adopt the view that race was a factor in the decision. "I think there are people who will say that's the basis," he said. Blacks are among the Democrats' most loyal voters.

2006-06-16T02:02:00.000-07:00

Art gallery loses its head, displays plinth

LONDON (Reuters) - One of Britain's most prestigious art galleries put a block of slate on display, topped by a small piece of wood, in the mistaken belief it was a work of art. But the slate was actually a plinth -- a slab on which a pedestal is placed -- and the stick was designed to prop up a sculpture. The sculpture itself -- of a human head -- was nowhere to be seen.

2006-06-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

Cocaine killed prisoner, inquest told

A massive amount of cocaine killed a woman who was carrying concealed drugs while she was in police custody, a coroner's inquest heard Wednesday.

The inquest has heard Sanderson was carrying a bag of cocaine in her vagina the night she was arrested by Saskatoon city police and placed in cells.

2006-06-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

What's That In The Road, Ahead?

A Nampa man told police he was involved in a homicide in Nampa at the scene of an accident on Franklin Road that killed a woman and her child this morning.

A severed female head flew out of the truck and fell onto the roadway when he crashed into the car.

Police say the head is not from someone involved in the crash.

Nampa police then went to Time's house and found the body of 47-year-old Theresa N. Time, Alofa's wife.

Two women were seen going into the house and were later escorted out screaming and crying.

2006-06-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

2006-06-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

ORLANDO - As Tropical Storm Alberto threatened to strengthen into the ninth hurricane in 22 months to affect Florida, former President Clinton predicted Monday that Republican environmental policies will lead to more severe storms.

CEDAR KEY - The first tropical storm of the season raked northern Florida with rain and wind gusts Tuesday but didn't blow up into a hurricane as forecasters had feared. The storm's top sustained winds were 50 mph, well below the 74 mph threshold for a hurricane.

In nearby Steinhatchee, a small fishing town in the Big Bend, life already appeared to be returning to normal. "The locals consider this a mosquito breeze," said Bruce Tayco, 33, who works at a restaurant. "When it's a tropical storm, we don't even consider it."

(WASHINGTON - It has been reported that the sheer amount of hot air blown by Clinton, Gore and 87,230 superexcited, hyperventilating weather reporters across the nation has done serious damage to the ozone layers residing far above your head. As these non-scientists begged and hoped and prayed for a hurricane, they were shouting louder and longer to be heard over each other and scientists assume the noise levels alone have shifted cloud covers and caused major damage, proving once and again that these morons will say or do anydamnthing that comes to their minds to get some attention. Republicans cause hurricanes. Jesus, Mr. President Clinton, sir. All due respect here, that's just...weak.)

2006-06-14T03:44:00.000-07:00

2006-06-14T02:51:00.000-07:00

Funny DUI

2006-06-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

La Grange - Zz top with Brooks & Dunn

2006-06-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

ZZ Top - Legs

2006-06-13T00:39:00.000-07:00

heart of glass

This is the video that shows why she was known by many as the most beautiful woman in the world.

2006-06-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

Two die as hardline Islamists ban World Cup

Hardline Islamic courts shut cinema halls and barred residents from watching the World Cup, prompting scores of civilians to protest the ban in which two people were killed, court officials and residents have said. The gunmen loyal to the Joint Islamic Courts (JIC), cut electricity, cleared cinema halls and warned residents against watching the football tournament in areas they control, forcing a violent protest late on Saturday in which two people were killed, residents said Sunday.

(These Islamists are my favorites! What a wild and crazy bunch of guys to go around with guns ready to kill people watching foosball in the name of religion and do it all with a straight face. Seriously, these folks make pederast priests look like pretty reasonable people to have as neighbors. Somehow they don't seem to tie it all together, their pseudo-religion, harsh poverty, murderous uprisings...it just all escapes them.)

2006-06-09T02:15:00.000-07:00

Dog Feces Left at Congresswoman's Office

Republican U.S. Rep. Marilyn Musgrave's re-election campaign was already heated, and it just got smelly as well: Her staff accused a Democratic activist Thursday of leaving an envelope full of dog feces at Musgrave's Greeley office.

Musgrave spokesman Shaun Kenney said someone stuffed the envelope through the mail slot in the door on May 31 and then sped away in a car. Kenney said most of the preprinted return address was blacked out, but staffers used the nine-digit ZIP code to trace it to Kathleen Ensz, a Weld County Democratic volunteer.

Ensz told The Associated Press she left the envelope at Musgrave's office but said it "wasn't in the office doors, it was in the foyer." Asked what she meant by the act, she declined comment.

2006-06-08T01:00:00.000-07:00

"Doc, I don't understand what's going on with me. It's really strange, sometimes I feel like a teepee." The doctor thinks about it for a while and then urges the man to continue. So, the man continues, "And sometimes I feel like a wigwam." To which the doctor says, "I wouldn't worry about it Fred. You're just two tents."

2006-06-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

It is said that the limbic system of the brain controls the four Fs: Feeding, Fighting, Fleeing and Reproduction.

2006-06-08T00:58:00.000-07:00

Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.

2006-06-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

For the women of Iraq, the war is just beginning

By Terri Judd in Basra

Published: 08 June 2006

Many women had their heads shaved for refusing to wear a scarf or have been stoned in the street for wearing make-up. Others have been kidnapped and murdered for crimes that are being labelled simply as "inappropriate behaviour". One Basra woman, known only as Dr Kefaya, was working in the women and children's hospital unit at the city university when she started receiving threats from extremists. She defied them. Then, one day a man walked into the building and murdered her. Fatwas banning women from driving or being seen out alone are regularly issued.

(Aw, shucks. Those rascals are still at it. Just when we think we make a little progress, here we go again with another Fatwa. How did that word ever get introduced into our lexicon here in Georgia, USA? Fatwa. Jihad. We're suddenly speaking their language. These are the most backwards people on Spaceship Earth, barring maybe a few tribes along the Amazon or in Papua. Even the tribes along the Amazon, primitive though they may be, recognize God's special gift bestowed upon women, that of childbirth. There are no other people in our civilized world today that treat their women and children worse than Islamists. The lower castes of untouchable Indians have a better deal than these poor humans. But yet, the liberal mindset in America says "Cut & Run", and tells us we should abandon our mission of introducing our way of life, our democracy, to these downtrodden, abused people. I agree with Ann Coulter when she says, 'We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war.' That's right, we should.)

2006-06-06T15:23:00.000-07:00

A disembodied head floats into a bar one afternoon and tells the bartender, "I'd like a beer, please." The bartender draws up a draught beer and sits it down in front of the head. The head begins to sip at its beer and with each swallow, more and more of his neck, torso, hips, arms and legs begin to appear. Soon the beer is finished and the head now has an entire body all the way to the ground. He's overjoyed at this development and orders another beer. As soon as he takes his first drink there's an audible "POOF" and he disappears completely. The bartender looks on sadly and says to the rest of his customers, "He should have quit while he was ahead."

2006-06-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

Lawyer: Government says terror plans included beheading

Canadian prime minister allegedly the target

"The allegations are that my client is alleged to have been part of a plot to blow up parliament buildings in Canada, storm the CBC [Canadian Broadcasting Corp.], take over the CBC, as well as, among other things, behead the prime minister," said Gary Batasar, lawyer for defendant Steven Vikash Chand, 25.

(In a sort of flashback or homage to Jerry Seinfeld, my mind raced out the thought, 'What's with these Muslims and their beheadings these days? I mean really, what's up with that?' I guess I should go on about their women, all claiming to be Canadian citizens while fully wrapped in that heavy black Saran Wrap sort of thing their pseudo-fantasy-religion requires of them. All over the world Muslims, Islamists, whatever they're calling themselves at the moment, they're emigrating like mad from their own horrid, oppressive and ugly tyrannical countries so that they may have a better life for themselves and their families and then, they start to blow shit up. So far it seems to be a pretty good plan for them. They're hated and despised wherever they are, even by each other. WTG Muslims!)

2006-06-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

What's that in the road, ahead?

(I love these Sunnis & Shiite's more with each passing day. They practice some sort of weird religion that make our L Ron Hubbard Dianetic friends in Los Angeles look positively normal. There are more Imams per square mile of Arab terriotory than there are cockroaches in southern Georgia and they're all about as equally sophisticated and educated as the cockroaches they resemble. They each have their own Jim Jones-like cult of goat herding followers and they each profess to be the be all, end all of the Islamic teaching of Muhammed because they have some sort of particular special knowledge.

Put in front of a camera, they will always babble on about some sort of "God Willing" nonsense and the majority of the time will profess peaceful intent for the good of all mankind. Turn off the camera for a moment and they will beat their women senseless, fly into religious rages and fervors that make a western Kentucky snake handler seem like a pretty reasonable fellow to have as a neighbor and then kill anything in their path in the name of Allah. None of them see any incongruity in any of this behavior and none of them seem to think that they will come out as anything but winners in the end.

Not many of them have ever travelled to another part of their own tiny region much less anywhere else in the world. They couldn't find the State of Georgia, USA on a globe if it was highlighted in day-glo orange and could really give a shit less.

They are a marvel to behold in their own ignorance as they go about their murderous rage, beheading each other for whatever the reason of the day happens to be.

Now, that's entertainment!)

2006-06-05T17:11:00.000-07:00

Clitoraid News.

(I thought Clitoraid was a citrus drink, sort of like limeade. I guess not. I asked my darling bride if I could adopt a clitoris or even two. I'm not sure her snide little comment regarding not knowing where the one that has lived with me for 15 years was totally necessary. Spare me all that, please. OH, these are brought to you by our friends, The Raelians, the same folk who brought us human clones and a very funky looking lady to do their PR and announcments.)

2006-06-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

Man killed after firing on police...Police spokesman Jason Gagnon said police were called to a home on North Hairston Road about 2 p.m. for “trouble unknown.” Gagnon said an officer was met by a man waving his arms outside the home. Another man then fired shots at the officer, and the officer returned fire.

A Morrow man was killed Monday night when his car crossed the centerline and hit an oncoming car head-on, police said. Clayton County police Assistant Chief Jeff Turner said Andre Varnard Henderson, 34, was traveling westbound on Panola Road about 8:40 p.m. Monday when he crossed a double yellow centerline. Witnesses told police Henderson, driving a 2000 Nissan Altima, was speeding.

A man was killed Monday morning when he lost control of his car and struck a mailbox in Cobb County, police said. Edward Ferguson — whose age and hometown were not available — was headed north on Terrell Mill Road shortly before 8 a.m. when he lost control of his Honda Accord while turning a curve, police said. Ferguson overcorrected, causing his car to spin around and hit a stone block mailbox in the 400 block of Terrell Mill Road between Paper Mill and Lower Roswell roads, said Cpl. Dana Pierce.

Four men were killed early Sunday morning when they were ejected from a car after it crashed in southeast Atlanta, police said. Authorities believe the driver of the car was speeding while he headed south in the 2100 block of Moreland Avenue about 2:30 a.m. The driver lost control, ran off the road and into an embankment where the car overturned, said Officer Steve Coleman. Three of the men were identified by the Fulton County medical examiner’s office as Miguel Reyes-Frausto, 20; Jose Hernandez-Morales, 22; and Fermin Morales-Hernandez, 21. The name of the fourth man was withheld while authorities try to contact his next of kin.

Two people were killed Sunday night in Cobb County after their car ran off the road, overturned and struck a tree, police said. Police said Jose Guadalupe Ramirez, 25, of Dallas was speeding west on Macland Road near the Paulding County line when he lost control of his Mercury Cougar while trying to pass several other vehicles in a no passing zone. The car spun out of control, rotating counterclockwise, before it left the road, turned on its roof and struck a tree, said Cobb police Cpl. Dana Pierce. Ramirez died at the scene, as did a passenger who was sitting in the back seat. He was identified as Raul De la Paz, 23, of Dallas. Two other passengers who were in the car at the time were also injured. They declined treatment at the scene, Pierce said.

Two teenage brothers and a middle-age woman preparing to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend drowned Friday in two Georgia lakes. “We were told they were trying to touch the bottom,” Cook said, who noted that the water at the dock was about 10 feet deep.

58-year-old child porn suspect kills self...A 58-year-old Winder man shot and killed himself Monday afternoon as authorities arrived to arrest him on a failure to appear in court charge, the FBI said. Summerville was arrested a year ago at his former residence in Lawrenceville on four counts of possession of child pornography. His trial in a federal court was scheduled to begin last week, but he did not appear in court, said the FBI.

A 21-year-old Villa Rica woman was killed Sunday morning when the car she was in was rear-ended on I-20 as her friend stopped to check on a vehicle stalled in the middle of the highway, police said.

A 30-year-old man was fatally shot in the parking lot of a DeKalb County church Friday night in what police was a drug-related slaying, police said. Authorities said an unidentified man in a grey car drove by and shot Menes Kori Temple outside the Bethesda Cathedral on Austin Drive about 9:30 p.m.

(Welcome to Atlanta.)

2006-06-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

Washington – The grand jury investigation of 4th District Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney enters its third month today with no hint from the federal prosecutor about how much longer it will take to settle a case that legal experts said should have been wrapped up in a matter of days.

What most angers the police about the McKinney case is that it involves an assault — no matter how minor — of a police officer. Police reported that McKinney hit an officer in the chest after he failed to recognize her as a member of Congress and tried to stop her from going around a security checkpoint, something members of Congress and their aides are typically allowed to do.

"It's obviously frustrating for us," said Andy Maybo, head of the Capitol Hill police union. "This sends out the message that it's OK to hit a police officer — and it's not, regardless of who you are."

In legal terms, McKinney's case "is as simple as you can get," said George Washington University legal expert Jonathan Turley. Usually anyone who hits a police officer is immediately arrested on felony charges, police and legal experts said.

(I just realized how scary that picture is. Resized up suddenly with Lightbox, it's as if she came of the screen at me. That is a very frightening, angry, frustrated woman and I'd as soon she stay right there on that screen.)

2006-06-05T04:47:00.000-07:00

There are reports of a new gay web site... Try c:Enter#######

2006-06-05T04:33:00.000-07:00

2 found dead inside deflated balloon

LUTZ, Florida (AP) -- Two college students were found dead inside a large, deflated helium balloon after apparently pulling it down and crawling inside it, officials said.

"It was more a fun thing they thought they were doing," said Linda Rydman, whose daughter was found dead. "You know how you blow up the balloon and suck the helium."

2006-06-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

Imam Qamrul Khanson said, "I have faith that they have done a thorough investigation," Khanson said of authorities. "But just the possession of (3 metric tonnes of) ammonium nitrate doesn't prove that they have done anything wrong.

A government official, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the ongoing investigation, said Web surfing and e-mail among the suspects led to the start of the probe in 2004. The 17 suspects represent a spectrum of Canadian society, from the unemployed to the college-educated. The 12 adults live in Toronto, Mississauga and Kingston, Ontario. Police said the suspects, all citizens or residents of Canada, had trained together.

Two suspects, Mohammed Dirie, 22, and Yasim Abdi Mohamed, 24, already are in an Ontario prison serving two-year terms for possession of illegal weapons.

Neighbors said the oldest suspect, Jamal, was often home and did not seem to work regularly, although his wife drove a schoolbus. The couple has three small children, neighbors said.

Another imam, Aly Hindy, said he knew nine of the suspects and complained that Canada's spy agency, CSIS, has unfairly targeted his mosque and congregants for years."They have been harassed by CSIS agents and this is what they come up with?" Hindy said. "I'm almost sure that most of these people will be freed."

Muslim leaders voiced worries about a backlash.

2006-06-05T02:57:00.000-07:00

Canadian police moved in on terror suspects after sting delivery of bomb materials, news report says

Police arrested 12 adults, ages 19 to 43, and five suspects younger than 18 Friday and Saturday on charges including plotting attacks with explosives on Canadian targets.

The oldest, Qayyum Abdul Jamal, led prayers at a storefront mosque attended by some 40 to 50 families down the street from his home in a middle-class neighborhood of Mississauga, west of Toronto.

Imam Qamrul Khanson said the language of Jamal's Friday night prayers had a more strident tone than other prayer leaders', but there was never any talk of terrorism or violence.

Khanson said at least three of the suspects regularly prayed at the Al-Rahman Islamic Center for Islamic Education.

"Here we always preach peace and moderation," Khanson said at the one-room mosque.

(I confess. I'm once again sick of hearing of the peace loving Islamists who enter what are traditionally anglo-saxon, Judeo-Christain countries and then proceed to tear them apart. It's happened here, Britain, Spain, France and many other places and it happens over and over again. "We preach peace and moderation.", they gush, knowing that their words are lies. The Muslims seem hell bent to blow up anything and everything. In fairness to them, they blow each other up with increasing frquency so it doesn't seem as if we're the only targets. I'm tired of Imams, mosques, fatwahs and all the other foolishness tied to this pseudo-religion. As a group, Islam and its followers are contributing nothing to the progress of the population of Spaceship Earth. Fanatics, plain and simple with no other goal than to murder innocents even at the cost of their own children. They must be stopped.)

2006-06-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - The Palestinian standoff intensified Sunday after Hamas rejected an ultimatum and a pregnant woman was killed during a clash between the rivals' forces in Gaza. Group spokesman Abu Qusai told The Associated Press that if no agreement is reached over the Hamas militia, "we will have to take to the streets." Three bystanders were killed in a clash between Fatah and Hamas forces, and relatives of the dead gathered at the hospital where the bodies were taken and shouted anti-Hamas slogans. Masked gunmen stopped two minivans carrying students north of Baghdad Sunday, ordered the passengers off, separated Shiites from Sunni Arabs, and killed the 21 Shiites "in the name of Islam," a witness said. Violence linked to Shiite and Sunni Arab animosity has grown increasingly worse since Feb. 22, when bombs ravaged the golden dome of a revered Shiite mosque in predominantly Sunni Arab Samarra. Two of the victims were high school students, ages 17 and 18, and nine were students at al-Yarmouk University in Baqouba, ages 21-22, said Qara Tappah's mayor, Serwan Shokir. In other violence Sunday, according to police: Gunmen in a car opened fire on a minibus carrying telecommunications workers to an area near the Shiite slum of Sadr City, killing four and wounding two. Police found 16 bullet-riddled bodies in Baghdad and four in the city of Tikrit, north of the capital. Gunmen in Tikrit killed three police officers and wounded two others at a checkpoint. Gunmen broke into the home of an Iraqi army soldier, killing him, his two brothers and father and wounding his mother. Two gunmen on a motorcycle killed Muntaha Ali and her husband Helmi Yaseen in Basra, believed to be employees of a U.S. government agency. Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said Sunday that Western accusations Iran seeks nuclear weapons are a "sheer lie," and he declared that attempts to punish Tehran would jeopardize the world's oil supply. Khamenei said Iran was not a threat to any country. However, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad repeatedly has questioned Israel's ight to exist and said in October the Jewish state should be "wiped off the map." Israel is believed to possess the world's sixth-largest nuclear arsenal. Ayatollah Ali Khamenei also gave the United States a strong warning that any "mistake" in its dealings with oil-rich Iran would lead to consequences for global energy supplies. "We have achieved a lot of scientific goals," Khamenei said in a speech marking the 17th anniversary of the death of Iran's Islamic revolutionary leader, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini. "They accuse us of developing nuclear bombs. This is an absurd lie. We do not need nuclear weapons and bombs. We don't have any target to use them on. Using nuclear weapons is against Islamic rules," he said. Vandals smashed 30 windows of a Toronto mosque and damaged nearby cars after the arrest of 17 suspected al Qaeda sympathizers accused of planning bomb attacks. Canadian Muslims expressed fear on Sunday that a backlash had begun. Family and supporters said the allegations were motivated by suspicion toward Muslims. "It's going to come down to nothing, that I'm sure of," said Mohammed Abdelhaleen, whose son Shareef is among the accused. "I'm suggesting there to be no foundation, for any of them. They are playing a political game." Police said the group had acquired three tonnes of ammonium nitrate -- triple the amount used in the Oklahoma City bombing. The Canadian Security Intelligence Service said the men had become "adherents of a violent ideology inspired by al Qaeda." Canadian police foiled a homegrown terrorist attack by arresting 17 suspects, apparently inspired by al-Qaida, who obtained three times the amount of an explosive ingredient used in the Oklahoma City bombing, officials said Saturday. The adult suspects from Toronto are Chand, alias Abdul Shakur, 25; Fahim Ahmad, 21; Jahmaal James, 23; and Asin Mohamed Durrani, 19. Those from Mississauga are Ghany; Abdelhaleen; Zakaria Amara, 20; Asad Ansari, 21; Saad Khalid, 19; and Qayyum Abdul Jamal, 43.Mohammed Dirie, 22, and Yasim Abdi Mohamed, 24, are from Kingston.

(HEY, nice pseudo-religion you boys are playing with. Muslims...yeah right.)

2006-06-03T01:55:00.000-07:00

Weird

2006-06-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

Coastal Empire
Security guard shot by two other guards

Two security guards are in jail after they fired seven shots at a third unarmed security guard outside an east Savannah apartment complex, police said. They fired seven shots, striking Herman Riley four times. Police are still investigating if the guards were licensed to carry firearms, but said they had enough evidence to arrest them. Foglia said the suspects' vehicle that pulled behind Herman Riley's truck was unmarked and that neither of the suspect guards were in uniform. Foglia described Herman Riley as a "relatively new" employee.

He was so new that Security Experts hadn't received his background check back yet and were unaware of the 20-plus arrests on his record. Chatham County jail records show Herman Riley has been arrested for charges ranging from aggravated assault and armed robbery to solicitation of sodomy and cocaine possession. Herman Riley Sr., the wounded guard's father, said he didn't have much information on his son, other than that he was born in Berlin, Germany.

Eight vehicles were damaged during the incident, including four that were pierced with bullets, the report says.

(Welcome to Savannah, y'all.)

2006-06-02T15:49:00.000-07:00

Couric predicted that the "pretentious era" of the evening-news anchor is going to be a thing of the past.

Couric, who was speaking during a Q&A session with "60 Minutes" correspondent Lesley Stahl, added that she "resents" being asked how difficult it will be to make the transition from the "lightness" of morning news to the more "sober" evening news.

"Anyone who watches 'Today' knows that I've done more hard-hitting interviews than any evening news anchor," she said.

"There's an awful lot of work to do," McManus said. Viewers will see some changes when Couric joins -- including a new set, graphics and music -- but any changes "may not be revolutionary" and the broadcast will "evolve over time."

"Dramatic differences might impress a lot of critics, but they also will alienate the core group of viewers who still watch every night,"

(OK, I give up. Who the hell is this person and what is this news thing at 6 PM she rants of? She's reportedly getting 15 million dollars each year to present 1/2 hour of news 5 nights each week plus a couple of those "hard-hitting" interviews she's famous for. That'll sure be less pretentious I guess. Most people I know making less than 15 million are less pretentious than those who make more. I know one person who watches news at 6 PM. That's my dad and he wouldn't watch a woman deliver it if you set his feet on fire otherwise. It's a matter of gravitas you see, women won't ever have gravitas. I can't imagine anyone with a computer and a fast connection that watches any TV news whatever today. Dad has WebTV and dial up for it. By time the news is delivered as 6 PM it's old, stale, rehashed. At 6:15 if you're reporting an event that happened at 6:10 you may be timely, other than that, it ain't news, it's entertainment. I don't care about new graphics, a flashy new set and I really don't care about her interpetation of the news...her's or anyone elses. I want the facts, I'll make up my own mind from that point, thanks. I have more live news feeds than she does, right here at my fingers. Honest to God, I know she's a personality of some sort, I just don't know why. And I'll promise you this...I'm better informed, more aware, more up-to-date than anyone who turns on the box in their living room for anything other than SpongeBob SquarePants! They call it "The Boob Tube" because that's was it is. Jerry Springer anyone?

2006-06-02T04:23:00.000-07:00

What kind of file do you use to make a small hole bigger? A pedophile.

2006-06-02T02:16:00.000-07:00

Official Apologizes For Saying Bush Should Be Shot Between Eyes

NEW YORK -- State Comptroller Alan Hevesi publicly apologized Thursday for a "beyond dumb" remark about a fellow Democrat putting "a bullet between the president's eyes."

According to a videotape of the speech, Hevesi said: "The man who, how do I phrase this diplomatically, who will put a bullet between the president's eyes if he could get away with it. The toughest senator, the best representative. A great, great member of the Congress of the United States."

"Comptroller Hevesi was trying to make a point," Heller said. "He went way too far, and it was inappropriate and wrong. He has apologized to both the senator and the president, and we believe that ends the matter."

(Let's try something. Sometime today, you stand up in a public forum and make a similar statement. Leave me a note as to how well that works out for you. That'll be after the Secret Service finishes with you and your family, of course.)

2006-06-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

Why are men like commercials? You can't believe a word they say.

Why are men like popcorn? They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because they think men care.

Why are women so bad at mathematics? Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches.

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner? When the power goes off.

What do men and women have in common? They both distrust men.

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.

How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man? The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date? Slow.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married.

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is? An insurance company.

Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.

Why do men have a hole in their penis? So oxygen can get to their brains.

What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman? A snowwoman is easier to make, 'cause with a snowman you have to hollow out the head and use all that extra snow to make its testicles.

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing? Castrated.

What's the difference between government bonds and men? Bonds mature.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men can remember them.

2006-06-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, got any specials today?" Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka." The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?" The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

2006-06-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. St. Peter is there at the pearly gates waiting patiently for them. He informs them that as it is Christmas, they each must produce an item that represents the spirit of the season before they can be let in. The first man searches his suit and finds some leaves, apparently from the accident and tells St. Peter, "These leaves represent holly and mistletoe." and he's allowed in. The second man produces a key ring and informs St. Peter, "Shaking these keys represents the sound of bells and the joyous music of the season." and he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of worn thong panties. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" The third guy replies, "They're Carol's."

2006-06-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

2006-06-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Richard Pryor was the funniest comedian ever. Hands down.

2006-06-01T03:29:00.000-07:00

Honest Leadership
Open Government

Reid Says He Won't Accept Free Tickets

Reid said he believed it was appropriate to accept the free tickets because the gifts were from his home state and that McCain, R-Ariz., had to reimburse because he was from out of state. Senate ethics rules generally allow senators to take gifts from any state, not just their home state.

But they specifically warn against taking normally permissible gifts if the giver may be trying to influence official action."It was therefore entirely permissible for Senator Reid - a senator from Nevada - to have attended a major Nevada sporting event as a guest of Nevada officials," Manley said.

Several ethics experts disagreed, criticizing Reid's rationale that he felt obligated to take the tickets to ensure boxing was being conducted properly in his home state."He is no more obligated to go to boxing matches than he is to a Celine Dion concert in Vegas," said Melanie Sloan, a former Justice Department prosecutor and head of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.

Jefferson claims innocence in bribe probe

A Democratic congressman facing a bribery probe after FBI agents found $90,000 in his freezer denied wrongdoing on Monday and said he would not step down from his congressional seat.

FBI investigators raided Jefferson's office over the weekend and disclosed they had videotaped the New Orleans lawmaker accepting $100,000 cash intended as a bribe for a Nigerian official.

The FBI also said in a court affidavit that it found $90,000 of that money hidden in a freezer in his house.Former associates have said Jefferson accepted more than $400,000 in bribes to help them sell telecommunications technology to Nigeria and other West African countries.

Two of those associates, former congressional aide Brett Pfeffer and Kentucky businessman Vernon Jackson, have pleaded guilty to bribery charges and are cooperating in the investigation.

2006-06-01T01:47:00.000-07:00

May 31, 2006

Police: Man accidentally shot and killed himself after crash

SALEM, Ore. - Police say a Salem man accidentally shot and killed himself Tuesday morning while he and his family were trying to climb out of a ravine after a car accident.

According to police, 38-year-old Vladimir Gorkavchenko was driving near Detroit early in the morning when he lost control of his minivan.

The car rolled multiple times, before coming to a rest at the bottom of a rocky embankment.

Gorkavchenko, his wife, and their daughter were uninjured in the crash.

Police say Gorkavchenko then removed a rifle from his van to take it with him as the three started climbing out of the ravine.

According to police, Gorkavchenko was using the rifle as a brace as he climbed and apparently slipped, causing the gun to fire a round that hit him in his thumb and his head.

It appears he died as a result of his injuries.

Detectives are continuing to investigate.

(Copyright 2006 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

2006-06-01T00:57:00.000-07:00

All The News Thats Fit To Print!

Woman's Toes Licked By Man Hiding Under Car...Police in Tulsa, Okla., are searching for a man who hid under a woman's car at a Wal-Mart parking lot and then licked her toes as she loaded groceries into the vehicle, according to a report. The woman said she was at the Tulsa Wal-Mart located near 81st Street and Lewis when she felt her toes being licked.She assumed it was a dog but when she looked down, she saw it was a man lying under her vehicle."I felt something lick my foot," the woman said. "I looked at him and I said, 'What in the hell are you doing?' And that's exactly what I said, 'What are you doing?'"

Police: Couple Offered Hit Man $100 To Kill Grandkids...Two grandparents in Lake County, Fla., were arrested for allegedly offering a hit man $100 to kill their three grandchildren, daughter-in-law and the family's pet dog, according to Local 6 News. After an investigation, authorities said the couple's son, Jason Jackson, 31, concocted the alleged murder-for-hire plan from jail and asked his parents to seal the deal, Bolden said.The 31-year-old is awaiting trial in a sexual molestation case, and his wife and children were scheduled to testify against him. The daughter-in-law, Karen Jackson, was shocked to hear about the plan to kill her, her children and pet dog, according to Local 6 News."I never saw this coming," Jackson said. "I loved (him) with all my heart. (He) was good to me and good to the kids. (He) was a nice guy, everybody's friend.

Police: Man Killed Over Spilled Beer...Detectives said Jamie Addair accidentally spilled beer on the alleged shooter inside the pub, which was at catalyst for the shooting, Local 6 reporter Jessica Sanchez said.

Deputy Fired For Using Squad Car Camera To Tape Bikini-Clad Girls Wants Job Back...An investigation revealed that Munsey used his dashboard-mounted video camera to zoom in on and record bikini-clad girls, including one showering at a public beach.

2006-06-01T00:50:00.000-07:00

Iraq veteran sues Moore over 9/11 film

DENISE LAVOIE

Associated Press

BOSTON - A veteran who lost both arms in the war in Iraq is suing filmmaker Michael Moore for $85 million, alleging that Moore used snippets of a television interview without his permission to falsely portray him as anti-war in "Fahrenheit 9/11."

Sgt. Peter Damon, a National Guardsman from Middleborough, is asking for damages because of "loss of reputation, emotional distress, embarrassment, and personal humiliation," according to the lawsuit filed in Suffolk Superior Court last week.

Damon, 33, claims that Moore never asked for his consent to use a clip from an interview Damon did with NBC's "Nightly News."

He lost his arms when a tire on a Black Hawk helicopter exploded while he and another reservist were servicing the aircraft on the ground. Another reservist was killed in the explosion.

In his interview with NBC, Damon was asked about a new painkiller the military was using on wounded veterans. He claims in his lawsuit that the way Moore used the film clip in "Fahrenheit 9/11" - Moore's scathing 2004 documentary criticizing the Bush administration and the war in Iraq - makes him appear to "voice a complaint about the war effort" when he was actually complaining about "the excruciating type of pain" that comes with the injury he suffered.

In the movie, Damon is shown lying on a gurney, with his wounds bandaged. He says he feels likes he's "being crushed in a vise."

"But they (the painkillers) do a lot to help it," he says. "And they take a lot of the edge off of it."

Damon is shown shortly after U.S. Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Wash., is speaking about the Bush administration and says, "You know, they say they're not leaving any veterans behind, but they're leaving all kinds of veterans behind."

Damon contends that Moore's positioning of the clip just after the congressman's comments makes him appear as if he feels like he was "left behind" by the Bush administration and the military.

In his lawsuit, Damon says he "agrees with and supports the President and the United States' war effort, and he was not left behind."

He said that, while at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center recovering from his wounds, he had surgery and physical therapy, learned to use prosthetics and live independently. He also said that Homes For Our Troops, a not-for-profit group, built him a house with handicapped accessibility.

"The work creates a substantially fictionalized and falsified implication as a wounded serviceman who was left behind when Plaintiff was not left behind but supported, financially and emotionally, by the active assistance of the President, the United States and his family, friends, acquaintances and community," Damon says in his lawsuit.

Moore did not immediately return calls seeking comment Wednesday. A message was left for Moore at a personal number in New York and with HarperCollins, publisher of Moore's 2002 book, "Stupid White Men...And Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation!"

A spokesman for Miramax Film Corp., also named as a defendant, did not immediately return a call.

Damon did not immediately respond to a request for an interview.

"It's upsetting to him because he's lived his life supportive of his government, he's been a patriot, he's been a soldier, and he's now being portrayed in a movie that is the antithesis of all of that," Damon's lawyer, Dennis Lynch, said.

Damon is seeking $75 million in damages for emotional distress and loss of reputation. His wife is suing for an additional $10 million in damages because of the mental distress caused to her husband, Lynch said.

2006-06-01T00:40:00.000-07:00

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable." "I can understand that." replies her husband, "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more wintering in Key West, or the Caribbean, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Cadillac STS in the garage, no more country club and we'll have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. "Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress." says her husband. The wife replies, "Ours is prettier."

2006-05-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16 oz can of Miller Lite

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're really ugly."

2006-05-31T17:06:00.000-07:00

A little known fact about Quasimodo is that he didn't have arms but used to whack his head against the bells to ring them. One day he was up his bell tower and whacked his head as usual but overbalanced and fell to his death. Anyway a crowd gathered. First peasant, "Who's this guy?" Second peasant, "I'm not sure who he is, but his face rings a bell." So then Quasimodo's brother runs to the top of the bell tower pulls the bell rope and hangs on when he should have let go. He flew out of the bell tower and landed in a bloody heap beside Quasimodo. First peasant, "So who the heck is this guy?" Second peasant, "I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

2006-05-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

(Two months after she smacked a cop with her fist, the grand jury hasn't been heard from. You try that sometime and let me know how it works out for you. From your cell. If they're going to no-bill her, fine...let's get it over with. If they're going to charge her, which every right thinking bone in my body screams they should do, let's move forward with the race-baiting politics. Not doing anything is the worst action of all.)

2006-05-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

We Got Headline News, Southren Style

Woman Hit By Lightning While Praying...DAPHNE, Ala. -- Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm rumbled through Baldwin County, Alabama. She said 'Amen' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire.

Wife Of Teenaged Groom Pleads Guilty...DOUGLAS COUNTY -- Lisa Clark’s two older sons were in court today to hear their mother sentenced to more time in jail. Thirty-seven-year-old Lisa Clark pleaded guilty on charges she helped her teenage husband -- the father of her child -- escape from state custody. Clark’s attorney, Alison Frutoz, insists Clark is not guilty of any of the things of which she was accused saying, “She is a simple, normal person.” Clark admitted to a sexual relationship with, a then, 14-year-old boy, whom she married after becoming pregnant with the teen’s son.

Man Arrested On 3,600 Child Porn Charges...HALL COUNTY -- A Hall County man is in jail on 3,600 child pornography charges.

2006-05-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

This is a demonstration of resuscitation techniques as devised by the French. They may not care much for Americans but their medical procedures seem to bring back life where there was none before.

This is NSFW nor for the faint of heart. Don't clickie the linkie if you aren't grown up.

2006-05-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

2006-05-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

(I've done some work recently with VAVS and The VHP. Some of that has involved putting together slideshows and others visual presentations for various events. I think I'll post some of my favorite images as I go along.)

2006-05-31T06:52:00.000-07:00

A Jew, a Hindu and a lawyer all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the reservations and there was only one room left for them to share. The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge. They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he'd sleep in the barn. The Hindu and the lawyer were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew. "I'm sorry," he said, "but there's a pig in that barn and as I'm Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it. "No problem," said the Hindu. "I'll sleep out there instead." So off he went to the barn, leaving the lawyer and the Jew to share the room. They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu. "I'm sorry," he said, "but there's a cow in that barn and because I'm a Hindu I'm uncomfortable sharing the barn with it." The lawyer grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room. The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when here was a knock on the door. It was the cow and the pig.

2006-05-31T06:50:00.000-07:00

A very large fellow walks into a bar with an alligator under his arm. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you all a bet. I'm gonna open this alligator's mouth and place my pecker inside. The gator will then close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my package unharmed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, you'll each buy me a drink." Everyone voiced their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his pants, and placed his package in the alligator's open mouth. The animal then clamped down hard. After a minute, the man balled up his fist and hit the alligator hard on the top of its head. The dazed gator opened its mouth and the man removed his unit. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and asked the crowd, "Anyone else want to try that?" A hand went up in the back of the bar. A dapper little man spoke up, "I'd like to try, but I don't want you to hit me as hard as you hit that gator!"

2006-05-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

Pedophiles plan political party

Michael Jackson on shopping spree

2006-05-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

Veterans Official Steps
Down After Theft

By HOPE YEN

The Associated Press
Tuesday, May 30, 2006; 7:24 PM

WASHINGTON -- A Veterans Affairs deputy assistant secretary who didn't immediately notify top officials about a theft of 26.5 million veterans' personal information is stepping down, citing missteps that led to the security breach.

Michael H. McLendon, deputy assistant secretary for policy who supervised the VA data analyst who lost the data, said he would relinquish his high-level post on Friday.

The data analyst also will be dismissed while the acting head of the division in which he worked, Dennis Duffy, has been placed on administrative leave, VA Secretary Jim Nicholson said Tuesday.

McLendon is the first official to depart after Nicholson pledged to hold officials accountable following the May 3 burglary, in which a laptop computer and disks were stolen from an agency analyst's home in Maryland.

"Words are inadequate to describe how I feel about these recent events and the impact on the band of brothers and sisters of service members and veterans that we are supposed to serve," McLendon wrote in a letter obtained Tuesday by The Associated Press.

"Given that this very serious and tragic event occurred on my watch and in my organization, I feel it necessary that I tender my resignation," stated the letter, which was submitted to the VA late Friday. "I would be modeling the wrong behavior to my staff and others in VA if I took no action to be responsible."

The resignation comes as the VA is under attack for a three-week delay in publicizing the burglary in what has become one of the nation's largest security breaches. During hearings last week, Nicholson said he was "mad as hell" that employees did not notify him of the May 3 burglary until May 16; the public was told on May 22.

On Tuesday, Nicholson announced that he had named Paul Hutter, the current assistant general counsel for management and operations, as interim head of VA's Office of Policy and Planning, filling Duffy's spot.

Hutter will lead the department "in light of recent, unacceptable events within VA's Office of Policy and Planning" while the Senate considers the recent nomination of Patrick W. Dunne to the post, Nicholson said.

According to congressional testimony, the VA data analyst immediately informed his supervisors _ including McLendon _ after the theft of a laptop and disks that contained veterans' birthdates, Social Security numbers and disability ratings at the data analyst's home in Aspen Hill, Md.

At the time, the data analyst took responsibility and acknowledged he had violated agency procedures by taking the information home, according to a VA briefing paper given to Congress.

McLendon informed other officials, who then told Deputy Secretary Gordon Mansfield, the agency's No. 2 official, on May 10. But no formal action was taken until the VA inspector general's office heard about the theft through office gossip on May 10 and began a separate investigation.

On Tuesday, some veterans' groups said it was appropriate that McLendon stepped down. But they expressed concern that he and the midlevel data analyst _ who has been placed on administrative leave pending the investigation _ would be made scapegoats, citing a complete communications breakdown in the agency.

"We can't be blaming this whole thing on some data analyst and his boss," said Bob Wallace, executive director of Veterans of Foreign Wars. "There are many more individuals in this chain of command that I hope would be held accountable."

The breach is second only to a hacking incident last June at CardSystems Solutions in which the accounts of 40 million credit card holders were compromised.

2006-05-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

Join them for some real "classic" fun.

2006-05-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South. He got a ride from a mean-looking trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?" "Ask you what?" replied the trucker. "If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth. "It don't really matter," replied the trucker. "I'm gonna fuck ya anyway."

2006-05-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What's a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

2006-05-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

2006-05-30T14:17:00.000-07:00

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. "Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!" Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. "Look, asshole! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your thick head?" He replies, "Oh, I know we're divorced! I just can't hear it often enough!"

2006-05-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

2006-05-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

2006-05-30T14:03:00.000-07:00

2006-05-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

Editorials

Government does veterans a great disservice

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:22 AM EDT

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

There's a reason a segment of the American population doesn't want the government rooting through phone records and otherwise vacuuming up sensitive personal information about their lives in the name of fighting terrorism.

Along comes the Department of Veterans Affairs to make us wonder what other departments operate so cavalierly, then stick us with the bill for good measure.

Veterans Affairs officials waited two weeks to notify the FBI of the theft of personal data, including names, Social Security numbers, birth dates and disability ratings of veterans discharged since 1975.

In one of the nation's largest security breaches, this lack of notification delayed warning 26.5 million veterans.

A government laptop computer and an external hard drive with the veterans' information were stolen from a Montgomery, Md., home on May 3.

The analyst placed on leave was not only not authorized to take the data home, it turns out this has been occurring since 2003!

Veterans Affairs now promises to restrict sensitive data to those who need it and to conduct background checks on those who do.

In other words, better close the barn door now that the horses have galloped away.

Perhaps a common clueless criminal won't have any idea how to realize the value of the purloined data and drain veterans back accounts, but once such information is compromised, fraud could occur next month or beyond.

To add insult to injury, it will cost at least $10 million merely to inform veterans that their personal information may be in the hands of criminals.

Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson warned Congress on Thursday that the ultimate price tag of the government's response might be tens of millions more.

He tossed out the figure of $100 million taxpayers will be expected to absorb.

Nicholson assured lawmakers he's “mad as hell” at the employee, so the scolding he got for systemic problems perhaps surprised him.

The agency's inspector general, George Opfer, has been reporting identified weaknesses in the VA information technology system and lax security for years, but like so many sectors of the federal bureaucracy sinking under the weight of its own information, warnings once again fell on deaf ears.

“You seem to be saying it's just one employee,” noted Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, to Nicholson. “But it's not just one employee. You have a high-risk, vulnerable system.”

“In the last five years, a host of agencies have reported that the VA has had many problems with information security. How did the VA react? With indifference,” Rep. Bob Filner, D-Calif., said at a House hearing.

It might be news to him, since nobody bothered mentioning the theft to Nicholson until May 16.

The agency's inspector general relied on office gossip to get in the loop.

Nicholson alerted the FBI May 17. A public announcement finally came on May 22.

“I can't explain the lapses of judgment on the behalf of my people,” Nicholson said, sounding about as convincing as an Enron executive.

May 25 Veterans Affairs and the FBI announced a $50,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of the stolen data.

(This is generating fewer and fewer reports by the hour. Last Thursday, there were headlines, Friday many took the day off anticipating a holiday weekend. After the BBQs and sunburns and time/space disorientation of a 3 day weekend, there is no new news. Hashed over stories in small town papers are all that's left. The rrant employee is sitting around his apratment, waiting for the grievance board to meet to decide his fate. This will be a process of weeks or months and in the end, he'll have a minor blot in his Permanant Record and back to work as usual. Nothing at VA will change, Nicholson will be gone in a year or two, onto the lucrative consultancy that awaits federal chieftains, Veterans will wonder where their benefits are and the beat goes on.)

2006-05-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

2006-05-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

2006-05-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

Regarding your article "Veterans assess info theft risk", please let your Boulder Vet Center office manager Brent Offermann know that his was one of the more insulting although fairly typical responses I've seen since this occurred.

The blizzard of press across the nation has been full of a lot of misinformation but his quote, "It's the same chances of winning the lottery...There's some bright people in Washington, D.C., that will take care of the issue.", will likely win some sort of prize.

I'm reading this in Georgia where we've had our own unique blend of wackos and nut-cases hooting and hollering but it appears you in Colorado have us soundly beat. Congratulations!

Brent seems to be totally disconnected from the fact that it was those "bright people" in Washington that violated the law (for 3 years running), took home a laptop full of data, managed to get it stolen, didn't report it for weeks, mismanaged the reporting process when they did finally report it and have fumbled the process since then. The IG & FBI is fuming mad, local police are furious, the VA Director has been angrily hauled in front of congress, President Bush is involved, millions of Veterans have no idea what their risk may be and Brent says, "Don't worry, be happy!"

I'll take my chances with the lottery Brent, whatever that means.

And then, resident expert Peggy Foster tells us that identity theft is "very common" and ""It happened to me before". Peggy is an esteemed VA Services assistant and she says, ""I don't fault the employees...they are all understaffed and overwhelmed. It's unfortunate."

That's great Peggy, really great. Yes indeed, it is unfortunate, isn't it? When a federal employee is in clear violation of the law and causes millions of Veterans throughout the United States at the least high anxiety and most unforeseen problems for years to come, to say nothing of the cost to taxpayers of the millions of dollars of revenue already wasted in ongoing criminal investigations, we should never ever hold those employees accountable for their unlawful actions.

Peggy typifies everything wrong with VA today. "Don't blame me" she says. "We're overworked. If I knowingly break the law, it's because you made me do it. Nothing is my fault. I cut corners, provide poor service, have a terrible attitude, and I'm rude to you on the telephone because of you. I am never ever responsible for my failures."

Yes, I'm a Veteran too. I'm a VAVS volunteer, I give hundreds and hundreds of hours every year to make VA Hospitals better places for Vets who need them and overall, VA health is the best in the nation. The VA benefits centers, those places where Brent and Peggy work along with the laptop guy...they all need to be fired, the slate should be wiped clean and it should be rebuilt from the ground up, Brent and Peggy and the guy with the laptop have to go right now or we will see this happen again and again and again. They just don't get it.

It's unfortunate, it really is.

(I wrote the reporter , the author of the article below that response you see above. I posted it to her in care of her editor, she didn't seem to have an email address. As today has worn on, I've come back and reread the comments that Brent and Peggy each made to the press and I hope that each time I read it I'll find I was wrong about my feelings earlier. I'm not. Those two are so typical, so far removed from reality, it's stunning. This is your VA services today.

Two years ago, I was to have a "Personal Hearing" at my VARO near Atlanta, Georgia. I shared the date with my wife so she could plan to drive me there. She quickly pointed out that the date that VA had scheduled was a Federal Holiday, Martin Luther King's birthday. Now, if this were Des Moines or Fargo, maybe we could forgive the error. This is scheduled in Decatur, Atlanta...the epicenter, ground zero for everything that is MLK. I called VA and got nothing. Typical. I called DAV, my chosen representative and was assured it was on the calendar, scheduled and I needed to be there. I argued that was wrong...I was warned I would surely lose by default if i didn't show. So, we were there at the appointed time. Alone. At a locked and shuttered building on a federal holiday. There has never been an explanation, no apology. A 4 hour drive each way, a days pay for my wife lost. No mileage paid as it was a hearing at my request.

Two years later, the hearing hasn't been rescheduled. Every now and then I get a form letter that VA is sorry for the delay, they're working on my file and will do their best to move things along, they really do want to assist me as quickly as they can.)

2006-05-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

From The Colorado Daily dot com

Veterans assess info theft risk

By AMBER WALZ
Saturday, May 27, 2006 11:35 PM MDT

A security breach of veterans' records has caused needed debate about prevention as well as detection of identity theft and has spurred full-scale investigations by both the FBI and the Veterans Affairs Inspector General's office.

The records were stolen during a burglary of the home of a Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) data analyst on May 3. The data analyst violated departmental policy by bringing home a laptop containing a database of sensitive information. It is likely the largest ever reported security breach of social security numbers, affecting 26.5 million veterans discharged since 1975 and their spouses.

Boulder County officials say there are more than 20 thousand veterans in the area, but less than half of them were discharged since 1975.

“It's the same chances of winning the lottery,” said Boulder Vet Center office manager and veteran Brent Offermann. “There's some bright people in Washington, D.C., that will take care of the issue.”

This is not an isolated incident.

“It's very common,” said University of Colorado-Boulder VA Services assistant and veteran Peggy Foster of identity theft. “It happened to me before and everything was stolen. Now I'm very cautious about giving my information out.”

The information stolen from the VA data analyst included social security numbers, names, birthdates and disability rating information that tells each person's level of disability, but didn't include financial and health record information. Veteran department officials waited two weeks to notify those affected and the FBI, but there is no evidence that the information has been misused yet.

“I don't fault the employees,” Foster said. “They are all understaffed and overwhelmed. It's unfortunate.”

(I thought this was one of the better quotes from VA officials I'd seen in the last few days. I'm going to spend some time trying to figure out exactly what he means when Brent says, "It's the same chances of winning the lottery..." in reference to the theft of Veteran's personal data. There must be some gold in there somewhere and I'll find it if I just ponder it long enough. Then Peggy tells us that, "It's very common..." as she explains away data identity theft with a quick pooh poohing. After all, it's happened to her, it happens to everyone nowadays, right? No big deal. It's like being mugged or carjacked or raped, it happens to almost everyone and not much can be done so suck it up why don't you? And we all agree; "I don't fault the employees...They are all understaffed and overwhelmed. It's unfortunate." No, we should never ever fault any employees if they're understaffed and overwhelmed. In the last 30 or 40 years this country has learned a few things about not blaming anyone for a piss poor performance and the VA epitomizes that philosophy. If you're understaffed and overwhelmed and accidents happen, well hey...it can't be helped, right? Ask any doctor or nurse or fireman. Brent would be forgiving if his mom didn't get her 9 PM medications in the ICU and had a stroke...I know he would, you know that nursing shortage is tough, right Brent? So somebody's mom is going to come up short, this time it was yours and we all feel bad but...understaffing and overwhelming, gosh, you know. Brent and Peggy are the perfect spokespersons for the VA system as it exists today. "Don't blame us!" is the motto. "We knew it was illegal, immoral and reprehensible to do this but that's how it's been done forever and we didn't think anyone would notice." is their operating call to get the job half done. "It's 4 PM and I'm going home." is how they handle the mound of work that piles up over the years. Is there a single person who believes the mystery employee who had the laptop stolen was taking it home to work on it? Class? Anyone? Class?)

2006-05-28T03:01:00.000-07:00

If we were to combine the last two postings? Could issues at VA be improved?

2006-05-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

Experts caution that large hurricane evacuations may not go smoothly, although plans improved

(I suppose I can't help myself and I should apologize and just move on. I see words like "smoothly" and "evacuations" or "Experts say evacuations remain challenging" and just have to GIS and then...)

2006-05-26T01:13:00.000-07:00

VA Chief to Undergo Tough Questioning

CAPITOL HILL -- Veterans Administration Secretary Jim Nicholson can expect some very tough questions today from Congress about the theft of veterans' personal information.Lawmakers are furious that the sensitive information may have been compromised, and that it took almost three weeks for the VA to make it public. Senate Veterans Affairs Committee Chairman Larry Craig says he wants to hear from Nicholson about the timing, security procedures and who was involved.

(Oh sure. Yes. Puhleeze. Nicholson hasn't figured out where his parking place is yet. The guy is a TEMP. Doesn't anybody get this? He isn't an employee with benefits and perks and rights like the fellow who had been taking home the laptop for years and years, Nicholson is just marking some time until he can move on to the next appointment and the next president appoints the next temp to the VA director slot and the beat goes on.

It's how it works and the VA has caught on to this like no other federal or state or county or city organization in any country on the planet. These guys are GREAT at what they do, serving themselves. Nicholson will show up, be treated with courtesy and respect, like royalty really and then while the cameras are rolling, a few congresspersonablepeoplemen will bluster and storm around and thats it.

If they can find a Kennedy sober enough there may be an entertaining moment or two and it'll all be over, off to the Ritz Carlton for a lunch thing and to the beach...it's Memorial weekend fer Chrissakes.

There is no change happening at the VA. None. Rank and file employees at this very minute are conducting meetings to close doors, to protect themselves, to keep out intruders. No change, nada, zip, zero, nothing.)

2006-05-26T00:42:00.000-07:00

I talk of it often so here it is, the VA Bible. If you care for some brain tightening, go to CFR 38 and prepare for a workout. I'm sure Lewis Carrol had a hand in writing this in concert with old Tim Leary. I'll get around to putting a more permanant link on the sidebar soon.

2006-05-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

VA breach discovered through office gossip...

In four hours of testimony, IG George Opfer said the department failed to heed years of warnings about lax security and noted that the employee who lost the data when his house was burglarized had been improperly taking the material home for three years. Earlier, VA Secretary Jim Nicholson said he was "mad as hell" that he wasn't told about the burglary until May 16 — nearly two weeks after it happened. Nicholson acknowledged that officials including Deputy Secretary of Veterans Affairs Gordon Mansfield knew about the incident earlier, but would not say whether Mansfield should be punished, citing a need for a full investigation. "As a veteran, I am outraged. Frankly I'm mad as hell," Nicholson said, pledging strong action against those responsible. "I can't explain the lapses of judgment on the behalf of my people. We will stay focused on these problems until we get them fixed."

"I don't feel any of the personal pain or outrage of your action," said Sen. Susan Collins R-Maine, who chairs the Homeland Security Committee. "This was a monumental breach. It was inconceivable that it involved such long delays."

(OK...More of the same chest thumping behavior by the natives. I'm not familiar with Senator Susan Collins, probably because she is from maine, an inconsequential frozen state of few people who are disconnected with most of the rest of us and she proves the disconnect when she says, "It was inconceivable that it involved such long delays.", speaking of a delay within the VA system. Dear, sweet, innocent congresspersonmanSusan, a "down easter" as I believe they like to refer to themselves for some unknown reason, has apparently never actually tried dealing with the VA before. The VA's very existence is founded upon the fact of delay. To NOT delay on a matter of the simplest solution would undermine the very reason for being the VA. Good Lord, to react quickly to a "monumental breach" such as this would be, well, treason of sorts. It might set a damn precedent. You know, if you ever react quicky once and show that it can be done, they may begin to expect it of you on a regular basis and then what have you got? Anarchy, that's what. Every error will require a fast correction. There'll come a day that there'll be zero tolerance for any mistakes at all. The mind boggles at the thought.)

2006-05-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

2006-05-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON Investigators say Veterans Administration officials did not heed warnings to tighten access to personal data for millions of U-S veterans. They add that the mistake could lead to one of the nation's largest cases of identity theft.And, to make matters worse, the Justice Department was not told about the recent theft of data on more than 26 million vets until two weeks later. That brings into question whether the V-A acted quickly enough to notify veterans of the problem Personal information -- mainly from veterans discharged since 1975 -- was stolen from an employee's home in what appeared to be a routine burglary. Officials say the employee reported the theft promptly to the V-A.

(I won't even bother linking any more of these to their sources. I use the Google Alerts or Word Search or whatever it's called and my mailbox is being deluged with local news programs reporting to their readers that the VA has been negligent in its duty to protect the Veteran. This one is almost breathless that VA officials 'did not heed warnings' blah, blah, blah. Good Lord people, the VA doesn't have to heed warnings from anyone at any time.

Nobody seems to be snapping to the fact that the VA system is accountable only to the VA system. Congress has no infuence. The VA's own director wasn't brought into the damn loop for 3 weeks. The only guy who is suffering right at this moment is the poor fool who took that laptop home. I'm betting he took it home because he doesn't have a computer at his apartment and he wanted to surf some pr0n. I just don't see a low level guy at VA burning that midnight oil at his low level broken into aprtment.

VA doesn't have to answer any questions. Nothing is going to change. The arrogance at VA is greater than that of a cash hungry Louisiana politician. They can not be punished. There is no wrong doing at VA. That isn't covered in CFR38. Read it for yourself. I have. It's perfectly clear. VA is right. You are wrong.)

2006-05-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

"I will not tolerate inaction and poor judgment when it comes to protecting our veterans," Nicholson said in a statement.

Summoning the Veterans Affairs chief to Capitol Hill, lawmakers are demanding to know why the department waited nearly three weeks to disclose the theft of personal data from 26.5 million veterans. Also at issue is why the department waited so long before acknowledging that a government-owned laptop and disks were stolen in what appeared to be a routine burglary at an agency analyst's home in Maryland. In a statement, Nicholson said he was outraged by his agency's decision to keep the theft quiet for so long. He said he had asked the agency's inspector general to determine who knew what and when. "I will not tolerate inaction and poor judgment when it comes to protecting our veterans," Nicholson said in a statement.
____________________________________________________________

The above was quoted from a Yahoo Internet news story today May 25th 2006, one of about ten thousand this week dealing with the theft of a laptop computer containing Veterans social seurity numbers and other private information.

____________________________________________________________

"... to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan..." Abraham Lincoln

Thus began what became the Veterans Administration according to popular lore.

The above quote is inscribed in granite above the headquarters building of the Veterans Administration in Washington, D.C. Of all the quotes inscribed above all the buildings in that town so famous for fluffing up famous sayings, none is quite as stretched out of proportion as that above.

Ask any Veteran of United States military service today what the VA has done for them since they were discharged. Before you ask, get prepared. You'll hear the same story again and again.

At first you'll think that all Veterans are simply a group of disgruntled, angry, drug abusing, alcohol swilling, shell shocked, sour-grapes sorts of people. You'll tell yourself that there can't possibly be a government agency this corrupt, this arrogant, this innefficient and this...wrong, allowed to exist. It just can't be. This is America isn't it? If it were really this bad, it would have been fixed long ago.

So, your easy answer will be that all the Veterans you talk to are angry and bitter. Angry and bitter about...well, what?

We're angry that not one of us are surprised that the incident of the stolen laptop occurred.

The congress and senate and other capitol hill power people are all acting shocked & awed and demanding answers and thumping their scrawny chests in unison but nary a single Veteran who has ever called the VA is surpised in the least.

The VA answers to no master.

The good employees of the Internal Revenue Service look over at their cousins at VA with admiration and wonder how they managed to create such a perfect world.

And it is a perfect world. For the VA, not for the Veteran. First, you must understand what the VA is. It is a Hydra, a multi headed beast loosely connected to a massive, sluggish body.

It's stated goal and purpose is service and support to a unique breed of Americans. These Americans are warriors who have joined an exclusive club. A club so exclusive that enrollment is limited to those who are qualified by certain physical and mental traits that it encourages them to travel to foreign lands, meet strange and beautiful people, use deadly explosive or chemical or radioactive devices that cost billions of taxpayer's dollars and kill hundreds of thousands of those people legally and then return home as if not much had happened.

Some of the Hydra's heads seem to function reasonably well. Most Veterans get a home loan without a problem. Education is usually pretty smooth. Getting into the health care sytem can be a challenge but if a Veteran needs care, once in, the VA health system is suddenly being seen as a model for other systems in the country in many areas.

But then...there's the rub. Getting in the system.

The VA has a "disability benefits system". This is the dark secret, the large part of the Hydra, the ugliest head that nobody wants to talk about. This head controls all the rest. If VA has a multiple personality disorder, this is the dominant personality that comes out at all the parties, right at the worst time and ruins it for everyone. The other heads talk about this one when it's distracted and they fear it.

Most Veterans never see combat. The average Soldier, Sailor, Marine or Airman is in a support role. I never had a bullet fired at me. I wasn't exposed to agent orange or atomic radiation. No gooks or slopes rushed at me and I didn't storm any nazis. No punji sticks, I didn't trip any booby traps or claymores. Nothing. Zip, zero, nada. Yet, I collect a service connected disability benefit and I feel damn well jusified in doing so.

Why?

By the time I was 18, I had completed basic training at Ft. Benning, Georgia. That alone is more than any civilian will ever have to face. No athlete, no pro football player, no mountain climber will do anything as rigorous as what a young man or woman will go through in Army or Marine basic. I can't speak to Air Force or Navy...I won't knock it although from what I'm told, it isn't as physically demanding. I do know there is nothing in civilan life that will compare.

For the next 3 years, I worked. Hard. By age 19 I was doing work that I would not have been expected to do in any comparable civilian position. I'm not bragging, not complaining, just saying.

There were few days off. We were a team. We depended on each other. There was no slack. The motto was that we had to do more and more with less and less until we could do it all with nothing. Accomplish the mission.

There was no choice. We were medics. We worked with surgeons in operating rooms and at that time, lives of comrades depended on us doing what we did. It wasn't heroics, it was what it was.
So, we got hurt, broke bones, pulled backs, slipped, fell, went without sleep...whatever.

We came home, ignored the aches and pains but eventually figured out we needed some help and knocked on the door of the VA. We knock again and again and again. Grudingly, it's eventually answered. A mound of paper is filled out. Benefits are applied for. And promptly denied. Not enough evidence. Appealed. Denied. Appealed.

A small amount is finally granted. This takes 4 years. You are now classified as 10% disabled, service connected, for an injury that is well documented to have occurred while you were on active duty.

You are not allowed to hire a lawyer. The VA is the last of the federal agencies that denies a plaintiff (or defendant?) the right to true legal representation when VA itself is loaded to its ears with lawyers.

You may not speak with a VA representative except to be told the staus of your appeal. The VA has no mandatory timeline to issue a decision. VA does not tell you what evidence you must submit but in the most general terms. Generally speaking, they are not required to show you evidence they will use aginst you when making a decision prior to making said decision.

VA relies on the highly technical legalspeak of CFR 38. These regulations are arcane, masterfully written to be so twisted, so incomprehensable that even an experienced lawyer would shake his head in wonder at it all. With a few years of practice one can make CFR 38 say anything one wishes it to say, it simply depends on the mood of the moment.

You are encouraged to use a Veterans Service Organization (VSO) to represent you to VA. These are mostly volunteers who help you complete your initial paperwork and set you free to drift alone in the VA sea. They aren't lawyers, they are often poorly trained and have no secrets to get anything done.

You may be advised to write your congressman. He will never read it of course. An assistant in his office will forward it to the VA Regional Office (VARO) where your file is kept asking for an inquiry. Your file is then pulled and sent to Washington for review by that special VA office that handles congressional inquiries. A sweetheart letter is eventually sent to your congressperson explaining that your application for benefits is being processed along with the others, it's in the pipeline, VA is doing its job in its usual efficient manner, all things are steady and good and fine and not to worry and God Bless America.

You'll eventually get a letter from your congressman telling you that the investigation is complete and you should be patient and the local Veteran's Center is waiting to serve you and God Bless America.

Your congressman has never actually been in the loop, he's been busy wrapping bundles of cash for his freezer you see. There are priorities in life after all.

Your VARO has set up the system so that anyone who dares to write a letter to congress is punished. Your file was pulled from the already slow circuit it was crawling along in and sent via bicycle courier to Washington. As it waited for a day when there wasn't a federal holiday and someone was in the office to process it as if it had been reviewed, it was out of the loop. When it was returned to your VARO, it went back to the beginning of the line.

You've added months to the process by asking for help to speed things along.

So suddenly there are millions of Veteran names, numbers, data stolen from a laptop computer and all these important Washingtonians are outraged, outraged you hear! Harumph, Harumph!

Details are still emerging but it seems that a VA employee took his laptop home to do some extra work. That alone is suspicious. Extra work, off the clock, by a VA employee just doesn't sound right but maybe I'm being mean spirited.

VA employees aren't supposed to take laptops home with them, sort of defeating the purpose of having a laptop but again I digress.

The laptop is stolen. Files are gone. This theft is apparently not reported to police authorities for maybe 2 weeks. It isn't reported to the director of the VA for the same period of time.

VA doesn't tell anybody until the story of the theft is about to be leaked to the press is seemingly how it is unfolding. And everyone is shocked and awed.

Except Veterans who have dealt with VA.

We know. Yes, we know. Veterans know.

The VA's attitude was simple. They didn't need to tell their director. He's a politician, a temp. He's here today, gone tomorrow, a pretty face with no real authority to do anything. I doubt anyone knew how to reach him. Within VA the phones never work very well in the first place so if they left him a message and he didn't get it, well, what's to be done about that?

Call the police? You're kidding? That's not covered anywhere in CFR38 is it? The police have no authority to deal with Veterans Affairs, that's the sacred trust of the VA and VA will not breach that trust and allow an outside agency to pry into the hallowed halls of that most treasured national resource, our Veterans.

Why, we at the VA consider ourselves to be the watchdogs and guardians and on this Memorial Day...

Can't you hear it now? The VA is your best friend, Veteran. And don't you forget it.

2006-05-24T13:50:00.000-07:00

The FBI revealed Sunday that Jefferson, under investigation for bribery, was videotaped accepting $100,000 in $100 bills from an FBI informant whose conversations with the lawmaker also were recorded.

Both parties have protested the Saturday night search of Jefferson's office on Capitol Hill, which they said violated the Constitution's separation of powers doctrine.

FBI agents searched Jefferson's office in pursuit of evidence in a bribery investigation. The search warrant, signed by U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Hogan, was based on an affidavit that said agents found $90,000 in cash stashed in the freezer of Jefferson's home.

Democrats, meanwhile, tried to get Jefferson to resign his seat on the House's most prestigious panel.

"In the interest of upholding the high ethical standard of the House Democratic Caucus, I am writing to request your immediate resignation from the Ways and Means Committee," wrote Pelosi.

Jefferson was defiant.

"With respect, I decline to do so," he wrote back to Pelosi. "I will not give up a committee assignment that is so vital to New Orleans at this crucial time for any uncertain, long-term political strategy."

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales tried to strike a conciliatory tone, saying, "We have a great deal of respect for the Congress as a coequal branch of government." But he also defended the search: "We have an obligation to the American people to pursue the evidence where it exists."

(In non-politician talk...what the rest of of who don't hold an elected office in Washington, D.C. speak, what's happening here is simple. This man is so full of his importance he resembles your grandma's old stuffed sofa. He used that self-importance to influence others to give him money in exchange for favors. He has a great deal of influence on how highly lucrative government contracts are awarded. This is not speculation, this is cold, hard fact. HA! I made a funny. Cold. get it? The cash that he took from an informant, on a videotape, with Hollywood quality sound apparently, was carefully wrapped in a freezer at one of his homes..._one_of_his_homes. So, he's a crook. You know it, I know it, even old Nanci with an I knows it. He has been asked and demanded to turn over documents for weeks, months and longer and has refused. Not documents relating to matters of country or world importance but documents relating to him being a crook. He refused. You try that some day and let me know how it turns out for you. With your one call. So a federal judge, knowing the feces will hit the ventilator shaft, writes a perfectly legal warrant and they go get the damn papers this crook is hiding and now the rest of congress is crying foul. They think their offices are some sort of 14th century church and sanctity has been violated. I cry BS and say he needs to be arrested, handcuffed and perp walked right now on a charge of being arrogant and stupid. American politicians have simply gotten out of hand. Way out of hand. $90,000.00 wrapped like catfish in the freezer, indeed.)

2006-05-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

"Family Values" Candidate Is Deadbeat Dad

(KSDK) - A St. Louis politician, whose ads promoting his campaign for the state house describe him as a "devoted father," owes more than $7,000 past due child support payments.

The politician is Talibdin El-Amin, currently a ward committeeman in the City of St. Louis, but is running for the Missouri House of Representatives in the 57th District.

His wife, Yaphett El-Amin, currently holds that spot, but hopes to move up to a Missouri Senate seat, and he hopes to fill her old job.

The children, 13 and 11, are the children of Antonnia Washington, who had a long-term relationship in years past with Talibdin El-Amin. Washington knew El-Amin as Mark Bastain, and their two children carry that last name.

(OK...I'm not in the least surprised that a politician running on a "Family Values" platform owes child support for children he fathered out of wedlock. He's a politician. That automatically makes him a liar. How can you tell when a politician is bullshitting you about anything he says? His lips are moving! These are the jokes folks. It's not getting any better than that. That was funny. OK, anyhow, what surprised me were the names. This is in Missouri. Not New York City or Newark. Did you try to keep up with the names? Talibdin El-Amin sired some rug-rats by impregnating Antonnia Washington when he was known as Mark Bastain before he married Yaphett El-Amin. She (Yaphett) has a job that Mark...er-uh, Talibdin, wants...maybe so he can get caught up on those support payments and be that family kind of guy he dreams of. Missouri? I thought Missouri had a bunch of Hatfields and McCoys and Smiths and Joneses? Just damn.)

2006-05-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

2006-05-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

Fish killed as soft drink leaks from factory

It's too good to be true. I always hated that stuff, not for its really nasty non-nutrition high sugar thing and bold-face lies about it, but it just tasted terrible. It was terrible. Thousands of gallons of this chemical ooze laying there polluting, killing fish. Gaaaghhh.

2006-05-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Woman rips off her husband's testicles with bare hands...

Drudge likes to get your attention with the facts! I fainted before I could click-through.

2006-05-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

Runaway Bride's Wedding Reportedly Off

Jennifer Wilbanks, 33, told People Magazine: "John and I have some things to work out."

Tell me it ain't so Jennifer.

Hello? Yes, OK...I'll buy that, she's available now, fellows. Any of you single guys with some time to spare, she's going to require some attention you see...

2006-05-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

2006-05-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

2006-05-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

A 3-year-old boy from Mexico died while crossing the desert southwest of Tucson with his mother, according to the U.S. Border Patrol.

The boy's body was left behind by the unidentified woman, who later told border agents about his death, authorities said Tuesday.

Authorities are waiting for an autopsy to be conducted to determine the cause of death and whether any charges will be filed against the mother, said Jesus Rodriguez, a spokesman for the Border Patrol's Tucson Sector.

Agents apprehended the woman early Monday about six miles west of Sells and she later told authorities that she had left her son in the desert and he was dead.

The body was found about 3 a.m. Tuesday on the Tohono Oodham reservation southwest of Tucson, Rodriguez said.

The woman is in Border Patrol custody and the Mexican Consulate has been notified of the incident, authorities said.

Now we're all thinking about Mexico and immigration control and that we have 12 million (12,000,000!!!) illegal aliens here, mostly Mexican and stories like that above are just routine...isn't it time someone sat Vicinte Fox down in front of a camera and asked him the very simple question; "Mr. President, why is it that your people are so desperate to leave your country that they are willing to die, to sacrifice everything, including their children, for a life in the USA? Everyone has known for decades a better life exists north of the border, that the Mexican government is one of the most corrupt in history and that life in Mexico is worth very little. Is your government actually doing anything at all to improve the lives of your people so they may want to stay in Mexico and make Mexico a better place to live or have you given up?"

2006-05-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

OOPS, too late to be draping yourself with an American flag now. When illegals pounded the pavement a couple weeks ago, blustering and threatening the rest of us with a shut-down of the services they provide and wrapping themselves in mostly Mexican flags, a few interesting things came to light. The services they shut down weren't really noticed but by each other. Oh sure, if they were gone for a month, maybe we'd see a difference in the price of Claxton chicken or corn tortillas but otherwise...not so much. Then they, and we, all discovered none of us want to be told by anyone who is "illegal" under any circumstance that we who are "legal" *must* do anything for a lawbreaker.

That message sounded clearer than ever before. The definition of "legal" and "illegal" suddenly was defined to Americans who hadn't given it much though previously.

Then the media, they who love drama, showed stories of cities being held captive by illegals, tens of thousands of illegals taking over city services, welfare programs, failing schools, serious gang warfare (Latinos can teach the Crips & Bloods a thing or two about gang warfare.) and babies...oh my God Latinos, mostly Catholic, they love to reproduce at government expense.

So, the strategy has backfired on them and we're now on a massive push-em-back, way-back play to get them across into that 3rd world desolate country where politicians are as crooked as any in Louisiana and crime is considered an ordinary way of making a living, not even a very good living...it's just another job.

2006-05-17T10:52:00.000-07:00

So here are a couple of photos of ol' Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran. He's been getting some attention lately by yelling and fussing about peaceful nuclear energy (wink, wink) and writing letters to the President of The United States almost like he really believed they would be read in the oval office.

"Mr. President, Mr. President, the letter from Iran has arrived."

"Really? Well, anyone seen my reading glasses? Crap, c'mon guys, at a time like this, why can't you at least give a hand here and find my reading glasses? This is a PRESIDENT for crying out loud...of another nation! I need to at least read what he has to say, you never know...maybe this time it's not a complete looney tunes whack job religion spewing...what? It is? Well, never mind the damn reading glasses then. Anyone heard from Laura lately?"

So, anyhow, it's fun to watch the middle eastern types as they rise up to rule the world over and over again and then watch as they disintegrate from within from that most terrible of all religions they invented for themselves. Honest to God (oops) don't they get it?

As long as their religious leaders have an equal or stronger voice in running the country as their economic and scientific leaders do, they're just going to crumble every time. It's been happening for centuries, it ain't about to reverse tomorrow. The Mullahs and Imams and PooBahs and Ding Dongs and tribal leaders have got to take a back seat to the financiers and the software developers and the cooks and the bakers and the candlestick makers or there will be strife and unrest that will rip apart whatever they attempt.

Our American democracy is founded on a religious belief. Amongst many other beliefs. Such as freedom of choice to worship. And make money. And be a woman with makeup on and go out in public without being beaten to a pulp. Until they understand the place of religion in society, just as we do, they are doomed to failure. In the meantime, they're fun to watch.

2006-05-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

Miami Commissioner arrested after fracas at airport

His breath smelling of alcohol, Miami City Commissioner Johnny Winton last night angrily reminded airport police officers of his elected position before telling them ''Go f**k yourselves,'' according to a newly obtained police report.

After being led away in handcuffs, Winton hit a police officer's jaw with his shoulder and kicked another in the groin before losing his balance and falling on the marble airport floor, police said.

Winton's face smashed into a wall.

The new details of Winton's arrest were described in a Miami-Dade arrest affidavit.

Winton is charged with two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer, disorderly intoxication and resisting arrest with violence.

He was released early this morning after posting bond, authorities said.

(I love these important guys who have a little drinkie and find themselves floating far above the law...the pictures are always sweet.)

2006-05-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

When they Published the Backwards Bush web site and clock, they didn't mean for me to use it like this but I'm thinking it's a fitting way to say goodbye to 8 years of a president who will be looked upon by historians as one of the best.

2006-05-16T16:04:00.000-07:00

Adblock

2006-05-16T15:48:00.000-07:00